Running through my head right now...

I cant be losing sleep over this, no I cant
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, Ill have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I cant be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning Ill have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cuz Im waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And Im somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

- "Somewhere in Between", a song by Lifehouse

Wow, it just sort of hit me!...

There's only 2 days left until my wedding!!! yikes, it's soooo close now. But alhamdulillah :)

Things are going well so far. I was freaking about not being able to find hijaabs, to match the new outfit which my MIL is bringing for me to wear on Friday night, but alhamdulillah I found one, but only after much searching throughout every store I could think of at the mall! I ended up buying a red one too, wich will go perfectly with the outfit that I have to wear on Saturday evening (the actual wedding reception).

So alhamdulillah things are going smoothly overall.

My MIL got me some AMAAAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL clothes from Pakistan. Although I haven't seen them in person, my husband was nice enough to put a lot of effort into photographing them for me, and then e-mailing me them.

I am truly feeling blessed! :)

May Allah protect us all from the 'evil eye' and people with ill intentions. Ameen.

Below is the picture of the outfit which I'm wearing on Friday, insha'Allah.

Calm before the storm...

*Sigh* So my summer classes are over and there's 4 days left till the wedding reception thingy!

And, surprisingly that whole Bridezilla thing was just a phase and I've been doing super well since then. I'm actually super excited about everything, except I haven't started packing or cleaning up my room until now :(

Yikes! I better get started on that.

Things are otherwise going really beautifully and our first guests will be arriving on Thursday, insha'Allah :)

I'm psyched!!!

Hmm... also, my sis & I went to my aunt's house today and found a lot of stuff that she had left behind from her son's wedding which she'll let us use to help decorate the wedding hall with :D Alhamdulillah. And, the best part is that a lot of her stuff will go well with what I've already bought.

Things finally seem to be shaping up. Alhamdulillah, I can't tell you how grateful I am to Allah subhaanahu wa ta'ala.

On an even more exciting note, I got to see all of the clothes that my MIL bought from Pakistan for me... YAY.

'A' and his bro will be driving here on Thursday with their parents and my BIL's wife in tow... so it's all getting more and more real!

Ok, i gtg now and force myself to sleep... I've been staying up till past sunrise everyday and today I just seem to be waaay to restless to want to sleep! haha

Anyways, ttyl everyone :)

Peace.

It's happening...

I'm turning into Bridezilla!

Ugh... the stress of doing everything alone is getting to me :(

Also, it's like I get things done and then hubby has been questioning my judgment on things and that really gets old real fast!

I haven't had time to breathe, let alone be able to write on here.

I have barely been sleeping, I am taking accelerated summer classes & the wedding is in 10 days!!!

I wish I was having more fun.

And, my hubby's younger bro is over so him & I don't get much constructive talk in. He comes home late and I end up staying up late and still have to go to school in the morning... so yeah, lack of sleep & stress = excitement killer.

Venue...

The masjid apologized for double-booking and is allowing us to have our reception at the mosque :)

Alhamdulillah, for one less thing to worry about!

Ambivalent...

I have been feeling really weird for the past day or so... I don't know why.

I guess I could say I'm feeling down and emotional.

This might be due to the fact that, though usually I don't like to set high expectations because that way you're bound to fail, I actually did want everything to be perfect right now.

Plus, I may have made some overrated assumptions about people and things.

So, maybe I can say, that I'm the one who set myself up to feel this way... and I'm truly hating it.

I really wanted to enjoy everything this time round because I was getting to plan my own wedding reception etc. But the excitement has died out. It might be because I'm planning it on my own... shouldn't I be feeling happier and more excited?

I might just have to attribute my feelings to stress, because I know this is sort of how I was feeling right before my official wedding this past October.

Sigh... the more plans you make on your own, the more likely you are that a few are bound to fail... C'mon I made them before anything was really official or set in stone.

Everything that I had thought up did not take into consideration the amount of people who would be attending my ceremony, who would be attending the ceremony, the fact that I've put on 20 pounds in the past few months (by the way, I'm pretty convinced that I won't fit into my reception outfit and so that'll suck too) nor had we even booked any of our tickets nor hotel reservations.

The first blow may have been that my husband and I would not be having my official 'giving away' ceremony on Thursday, which is what I had ideally wanted so that I could've had a day between that and the reception. I mean imagine... our schedule is like July 30 is when my husband and his parents arrive, July 31st is when I will be moving in with him for the first time (since we've been apart this whole time due to school), Aug 1st we have the wedding reception and the morning of Aug 2nd we're driving 11 hrs to SC where my hubby lives.

I don't even know if I'll be able to live through the day of driving... I don't know what to say about not even getting a day's break. Dude, it's not like the bride's in the best of conditions at such a time.

So, yeah, I'm kinda wishing that it was all over :(

I just wish we could be done and living together for the summer.

I don't care what anyone says... I would've loved to have at least one day to rest. Can you imagine traveling the day after the wedding?

Ugh... anyways... not like I can do anything about it.

So, yup, I'm trying to keep the stress levels down.

Ok, so I guess I should get my cynical self to end this now.

Tomorrow is the second day of summer classes and so I better get some sleep.

Peace.

Crumbling...

Today I've been feeling pretty down.

There's about 2 reasons for that...

My photographer won't be able to make it to my event (she is a friend/my ex-photography teacher) on August 1st.

The venue that we finally got, we found out, had double booked and so now we may, again, not have a venue!

What's worse this time around is that we already printed the reception invites with the venue and date of the event on them! :(

'Innama al-usri yusri'... After hardship there is ease... and I do have faith in Allah, but I guess I need to have more and get myself to relax instead of stress.

I mean I am so frustrated that I don't even care for a big reception... Can someone just give me a plane ticket to SC?!?

Peace out.