Patience is key...

Sometimes you just have to kick yourself and just move on... and try not to trip over your own dumb mistakes.

Lol, so I know the type of things that I should NOT be doing while conversing with people, particularly my husband... especially when talking over a subject of debate.

And yet, what do I do? I drag myself into murky waters, with no flashlight :P

Yeah, so people... do not jump the gun and talk about stuff that is not directly pertaining to what you are going through now...

Ugh, meaning don't talk/discuss/argue something that'll happen in the future. The topics in this list could include stuff like future baby names, for example.

I brought up a more important topic, but at an irrelevant time.

There's a time for everything and so it's important to be patient.

But at the same time, don't be afraid to open a can of worms at the right time. That is, that if something is bothering you then you should bring it up... unless it's something which is very trivial and you could live with it for the rest of your marriage.

Opening a can of worms could be good for your marriage.

Like I have previously said, studies back the notion that it's ok to argue because that does not ruin a marriage... Rather, it's the WAY you argue which can ruin a marriage.

My husband and I hardly ever argue... but when we do, it can get intense and there's tears etc. but alhamdulillah we ALWAYS come out stronger because we keep talking, then take a break to think (since we're upset) and then we come back to the argument. Sometimes we'll quit the argument plenty of times because we're still upset but then we'll always come back and ask each other how we can resolve it. Also we try to explain, in a different way, our points of view. So keep at something that really means something to you until both of you can reach a happy medium.

At the same time, don't push things out of proportion. Discuss only important things in such depth. Don't pass derogatory comments. Be respectful, listen, be patient and remember above all... this is YOUR marriage so make it work :)

And, try not to trip over your own mistakes.

A link...

A friend of mine shared this link with me and I really liked it.

Take a look:

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/what-did-you-say-honey/

We're getting better at this :)

Alhamdulillah, things are getting better :D

We moved into our new appt in NC and finally got some time to relax n reconnect without the stress of things weighing down on us!

I got some really constructive advice about my last post and insha'Allah I plan on implementing it in my day to day life.

Marriage is so wonderful, but you will never experience this kind of closeness or relationship with any one other than your spouse therefore it really helps to have friends who know what they're talking about.

Of course experience is the best teacher.

And alhamdulillah I have been blessed with a very supportive and helpful husband... we are just having to learn how to adjust our habits to better suit each other.

I guess the stress level goes up whenever we meet, to some extent, because we always have something huge looming whenever I visit him.

The first time I had gone over the summer, it was my in-laws and ramadaan. This time it was the move... and we always have such a time crunch to get things done in.

I mean this stuff is hard for experienced and long-married couples and we're just new at everything.

So this post is primarily to thank the people who provided me with awesome advice and my more 'seasoned' married people :) Jazaak Allah khayr.

Oh, and one of the advice that I got was for hubby and I to make a list of chores and to divide it by preferences. Like I know he hates doing dishes, so I can do that and maybe he can do something that I don't particularly enjoy in return. But of course, on the weekends :)

Thanks everyone!