Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Writing Can Transport You
I am sitting here at 1:20 am writing away and updating my blog, and suddenly I realize that I am not sitting in the dark at home but rather I am thousands of miles away from home and am sitting in Meknes, Morocco...
This is where I met my adorable son-to-be about 2 days ago for the first time...and I am sitting on a bed in a foreign land and listening to my guys (A & Y) half-snoring beside me on this overcrowded bed :)
Then now the realization that...This, right here, is what i live for <3
This is where I met my adorable son-to-be about 2 days ago for the first time...and I am sitting on a bed in a foreign land and listening to my guys (A & Y) half-snoring beside me on this overcrowded bed :)
Then now the realization that...This, right here, is what i live for <3
Traveling/Arrival in Morocco
November 6, 2015
So A, Y & I arrived in Morocco at about 9pm on November 7th, after traveling the entire of Nov 6th. My mom also came with us on this trip to be able to help us with watching Y.
Our adoption agency was pretty clear about the fact that we would be very busy in Morocco so we should have someone to watch our son. Thankfully my mom is amazing with Y and they get along very well. She was able to get 3 weeks off of work and so she flew with us. She was a lot of help throughout our multiple flights and layovers (waited a few hours at our local state airport and then at another for 5 hours and then spent another 6 hours in Paris!) We were, needless to say, exhausted by the time we got to Rabat, Morocco.
After arriving at Rabat, gathering our luggage and meeting our local guide who picked us up at the airport, it was time to drive to our apartment. This was the first time that my husband and I had ever had to book an apartment online through airbnb.com and so we were nervous. Everyone that had come to Rabat before us through the adoption agency usually booked a hotel since we were supposed to spend only one night in Rabat...but given the fact that we flew in on a Saturday night, were a group of 4 people and couldn't get the police clearance that we needed from Rabat done any sooner than Monday, we decided an apartment would be more cost-effective.
So anyhow, our guide was able to get in contact with the apartment owner to confirm that he would be able to give us the keys that night. Soon, after like a 20 minute drive we were at the apartment...this is when we really started to get scared! We got to the apartment and there wasn't a single light on in the building, the doors/windows were closed and the apartment owner stopped answering his phone! We practically had our hearts in our throats! My huband and the guide slowly got out of the car and knocked, slowly at first and the started banging at the door! They tried calling the man a few more times but still no answer... we started contemplating getting a hotel for the night, afterall...even though we have paid in advance for this place. Well 10 minutes later the owner finally called back and said that he had been cooking and so forgot to check his phone...he finally came down and opened the door. The apartment building was still pitch dark and we found out that our apartment was on the 4th floor and there was no elevator! When I say 4th floor...it was not 4 flights of steps...there were a LOT of steps!!! Thankfully I had gotten cortisone shots put in my right knee right before traveling because i had been having horrible pain in it for a while. It was time to test my knees...
We finally went up to the 4th floor with 4 big suitcases and more hand-carry luggage...everyone was out of breath! The apartment was cute but you could tell from the dusty smell that it had been closed for a while! As soon as i came in i opened all of the windows and over the next 2 days the place actually smelled normal :) Poor Y isn't used to any dust and had to take Benadryl for the next 2 days because the poor kid's nose was all stuffed up and he was so miserable that he actually asked to go home! Poor little guy.
Eventually we unpacked just enough to be able comfortably go to sleep. It was around midnight and we were all exhausted after a full day of traveling. We fell asleep within seconds...then I woke up scared at 2 am! I could hear really loud crying... I was terrified! All i could think of is this quiet dark building where we didn't see anyone and us being on the very last floor (which has just one single apartment on it) and this crying sound...i am sad to admit but i didn't spend the next 2 hours scared and clinging on to A & Y. So that was our first night in Rabat.
The good thing was that we had nowhere to be on Sunday and so i just relaxed and we went to explore the apartment building a little more during the day...it turns out that, although the building was mostly empty, there were still just a handful of apartments which had tennants in them and one had a family with 2 boys in it...one who liked to cry! LOL
Long story short, we had a nice uneventful rest of the trip in Rabat :) We were able to get our Cassier Judissier in a few hours on Monday, then we drove to Meknes...where we would be for the next 3 weeks!
So A, Y & I arrived in Morocco at about 9pm on November 7th, after traveling the entire of Nov 6th. My mom also came with us on this trip to be able to help us with watching Y.
Our adoption agency was pretty clear about the fact that we would be very busy in Morocco so we should have someone to watch our son. Thankfully my mom is amazing with Y and they get along very well. She was able to get 3 weeks off of work and so she flew with us. She was a lot of help throughout our multiple flights and layovers (waited a few hours at our local state airport and then at another for 5 hours and then spent another 6 hours in Paris!) We were, needless to say, exhausted by the time we got to Rabat, Morocco.
After arriving at Rabat, gathering our luggage and meeting our local guide who picked us up at the airport, it was time to drive to our apartment. This was the first time that my husband and I had ever had to book an apartment online through airbnb.com and so we were nervous. Everyone that had come to Rabat before us through the adoption agency usually booked a hotel since we were supposed to spend only one night in Rabat...but given the fact that we flew in on a Saturday night, were a group of 4 people and couldn't get the police clearance that we needed from Rabat done any sooner than Monday, we decided an apartment would be more cost-effective.
So anyhow, our guide was able to get in contact with the apartment owner to confirm that he would be able to give us the keys that night. Soon, after like a 20 minute drive we were at the apartment...this is when we really started to get scared! We got to the apartment and there wasn't a single light on in the building, the doors/windows were closed and the apartment owner stopped answering his phone! We practically had our hearts in our throats! My huband and the guide slowly got out of the car and knocked, slowly at first and the started banging at the door! They tried calling the man a few more times but still no answer... we started contemplating getting a hotel for the night, afterall...even though we have paid in advance for this place. Well 10 minutes later the owner finally called back and said that he had been cooking and so forgot to check his phone...he finally came down and opened the door. The apartment building was still pitch dark and we found out that our apartment was on the 4th floor and there was no elevator! When I say 4th floor...it was not 4 flights of steps...there were a LOT of steps!!! Thankfully I had gotten cortisone shots put in my right knee right before traveling because i had been having horrible pain in it for a while. It was time to test my knees...
We finally went up to the 4th floor with 4 big suitcases and more hand-carry luggage...everyone was out of breath! The apartment was cute but you could tell from the dusty smell that it had been closed for a while! As soon as i came in i opened all of the windows and over the next 2 days the place actually smelled normal :) Poor Y isn't used to any dust and had to take Benadryl for the next 2 days because the poor kid's nose was all stuffed up and he was so miserable that he actually asked to go home! Poor little guy.
Eventually we unpacked just enough to be able comfortably go to sleep. It was around midnight and we were all exhausted after a full day of traveling. We fell asleep within seconds...then I woke up scared at 2 am! I could hear really loud crying... I was terrified! All i could think of is this quiet dark building where we didn't see anyone and us being on the very last floor (which has just one single apartment on it) and this crying sound...i am sad to admit but i didn't spend the next 2 hours scared and clinging on to A & Y. So that was our first night in Rabat.
The good thing was that we had nowhere to be on Sunday and so i just relaxed and we went to explore the apartment building a little more during the day...it turns out that, although the building was mostly empty, there were still just a handful of apartments which had tennants in them and one had a family with 2 boys in it...one who liked to cry! LOL
Long story short, we had a nice uneventful rest of the trip in Rabat :) We were able to get our Cassier Judissier in a few hours on Monday, then we drove to Meknes...where we would be for the next 3 weeks!
Resisting the Urge to Bonk Dumb People on the head
My husband A and I have heard it ALL...when it comes to people's responses on why we are adopting a child...
Poeple have told us... one child is great, less stress...why do you want another?
-You should be happy you have one, it's easier to school one in this expensive day and age! think about college!
- I hope the baby you get will be beautiful! Aren't people from Morocco beautiful???
- Then we got the flat out responses "Oh, why are you adopting? I don't think that's a good idea!"
- You are so young, you can still have kids...why adopt?
It is all so appalling that i am pretty sure i have compartmentalized the rest in some corner of my brain marked "REFUSE" and so i can't even come up with it to post over here!
Lord help me to resist the urge to bonk such people on the head, because God knows i want to!
Poeple have told us... one child is great, less stress...why do you want another?
-You should be happy you have one, it's easier to school one in this expensive day and age! think about college!
- I hope the baby you get will be beautiful! Aren't people from Morocco beautiful???
- Then we got the flat out responses "Oh, why are you adopting? I don't think that's a good idea!"
- You are so young, you can still have kids...why adopt?
It is all so appalling that i am pretty sure i have compartmentalized the rest in some corner of my brain marked "REFUSE" and so i can't even come up with it to post over here!
Lord help me to resist the urge to bonk such people on the head, because God knows i want to!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Baby Morocco
Since the last time I wrote, we have been matched with a baby at the orphanage in Morocco.
We got matched on 10/26/15 :) We had to wait about 16 days to be matched with this child, after we got our I-600A approval...this wait felt like eternity!!!
But alhamdulillah that day finally came and we know who our son is!
So...how do I feel???
The moment i got the news...without actually "getting the news" (I heard we got matched but missed the phone call that was supposed to tell me about the baby!)...at that moment I cried. I cried on the phone while W (the lady that has been coordinating this whole thing) congratulated me (I told her "wait! I didn't get the news yet!!!"...they called my husband to give him the news since I didn't answer my phone, and he was at work...so I hadn't talked to him just yet). I couldn't utter a single word by the time W told me that our baby is "beautiful". My voice broke and I couldn't talk...she told me where I could see his picture and honestly our internet has never felt as slow as it did at that moment! It was frustrating. My husband called me after that and I just kept yelling "Shh I haven't seen it yet!" 😂
Then I finally saw him and he IS BEAUTIFUL! But the warm and fuzzies didn't start the second I saw the picture because I think I was too overwhelmed with every other amazing emotion :) Then I went around and showed the picture to everyone. I called my mom...she didn't answer...called my sis and no answer!!!! Then I called my dad and he was sooo happy and excited for us :) Eventually my mom and then my sis called back and we gave them the news and sent them pics. Officially my heart began to melt and it just smiled and floated on cloud nine...and it still has been since that day. Showing the picture to everyone and sharing the happiness finally made the feeling more real and it is amazing!
I went to show my maternal grandma, who is 91 years old, the picture in person and she was in love as well 😍 Alhamdulillah she has been the most anxious and impatient about us getting matched with a baby and about us going to Morocco...she would ask me almost every month how much longer we had and then would make dua'a that everything happens quickly.
Honestly, at first I was afraid, but sharing our story has been such an amazing experience! We have gotten so much support from everyone...but throughout this journey I have two people that I have to thank the most and that is my hubby, A, and then my mom. My mom was the first one to just push us to pursue adoption...even when we had doubts about how we would go about/afford this. She just believed in it so much and has done everything in her power to make this dream a reality for us. She is nothing short or a superstar. Thank you, mom.
Ok, so I will end this post here...
But I just wanted to let you know that my heart is finally smiling again...after years of dealing with secondary infertility and living with the guilt of not being able to give our son a sibling...I want to still be cautious because we have such a long way to go before Baby Morocco is our...but I am losing control and hopelessly falling deeper in love with each passing day :) Sometimes I think of how funny this whole thing is too...that my second child is in Morocco and how we have never met but he is already a piece of my heart and I already can't imagine life without him.
Insha'Allah my next post will be about how Y is doing with all of this :)
We got matched on 10/26/15 :) We had to wait about 16 days to be matched with this child, after we got our I-600A approval...this wait felt like eternity!!!
But alhamdulillah that day finally came and we know who our son is!
So...how do I feel???
The moment i got the news...without actually "getting the news" (I heard we got matched but missed the phone call that was supposed to tell me about the baby!)...at that moment I cried. I cried on the phone while W (the lady that has been coordinating this whole thing) congratulated me (I told her "wait! I didn't get the news yet!!!"...they called my husband to give him the news since I didn't answer my phone, and he was at work...so I hadn't talked to him just yet). I couldn't utter a single word by the time W told me that our baby is "beautiful". My voice broke and I couldn't talk...she told me where I could see his picture and honestly our internet has never felt as slow as it did at that moment! It was frustrating. My husband called me after that and I just kept yelling "Shh I haven't seen it yet!" 😂
Then I finally saw him and he IS BEAUTIFUL! But the warm and fuzzies didn't start the second I saw the picture because I think I was too overwhelmed with every other amazing emotion :) Then I went around and showed the picture to everyone. I called my mom...she didn't answer...called my sis and no answer!!!! Then I called my dad and he was sooo happy and excited for us :) Eventually my mom and then my sis called back and we gave them the news and sent them pics. Officially my heart began to melt and it just smiled and floated on cloud nine...and it still has been since that day. Showing the picture to everyone and sharing the happiness finally made the feeling more real and it is amazing!
I went to show my maternal grandma, who is 91 years old, the picture in person and she was in love as well 😍 Alhamdulillah she has been the most anxious and impatient about us getting matched with a baby and about us going to Morocco...she would ask me almost every month how much longer we had and then would make dua'a that everything happens quickly.
Honestly, at first I was afraid, but sharing our story has been such an amazing experience! We have gotten so much support from everyone...but throughout this journey I have two people that I have to thank the most and that is my hubby, A, and then my mom. My mom was the first one to just push us to pursue adoption...even when we had doubts about how we would go about/afford this. She just believed in it so much and has done everything in her power to make this dream a reality for us. She is nothing short or a superstar. Thank you, mom.
Ok, so I will end this post here...
But I just wanted to let you know that my heart is finally smiling again...after years of dealing with secondary infertility and living with the guilt of not being able to give our son a sibling...I want to still be cautious because we have such a long way to go before Baby Morocco is our...but I am losing control and hopelessly falling deeper in love with each passing day :) Sometimes I think of how funny this whole thing is too...that my second child is in Morocco and how we have never met but he is already a piece of my heart and I already can't imagine life without him.
Insha'Allah my next post will be about how Y is doing with all of this :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
An uncharted terrain...
Why are we adopting?
I don't think I honestly have an answer to this question...i probably did, in fact i probably had many before we started this entire journey... but the more i have been educating myself about adoption...the more i have realized that i don't have an answer to this...
At least not an answer that will do any justice to the child that we are about to adopt...you see, the child will be a living/breathing/real human being with real emotions and feelings...a human being that has already faced a huge loss just as his/her life is starting...so how do I use my petty words to try and explain to this child why i am adopting them...why i am moving them out of the only existence that they have ever known...out of their country and culture...
This has been my emotional growth... I am beginning to learn that i am really not that significant a being... i don't "know" what the right thing to do is in every situation...even though i may be an adult and a parent, i actually do not have all of the answers...that makes me realize that in the end, i am not here to "teach" my children (adopted or biological), but rather i am here to learn from them as well and that is a great humbling feeling!
Again, I think...why am I adopting?
It's because i want to give a child an opportunity...an opportunity that they may not get...we may be wrong, or we may be right...but only time will tell. But as of now, I already know, that this child has already helped me grow in way that I could not have foreseen...even though I still do not know who he/she is...and for that I am grateful.
I don't think I honestly have an answer to this question...i probably did, in fact i probably had many before we started this entire journey... but the more i have been educating myself about adoption...the more i have realized that i don't have an answer to this...
At least not an answer that will do any justice to the child that we are about to adopt...you see, the child will be a living/breathing/real human being with real emotions and feelings...a human being that has already faced a huge loss just as his/her life is starting...so how do I use my petty words to try and explain to this child why i am adopting them...why i am moving them out of the only existence that they have ever known...out of their country and culture...
This has been my emotional growth... I am beginning to learn that i am really not that significant a being... i don't "know" what the right thing to do is in every situation...even though i may be an adult and a parent, i actually do not have all of the answers...that makes me realize that in the end, i am not here to "teach" my children (adopted or biological), but rather i am here to learn from them as well and that is a great humbling feeling!
Again, I think...why am I adopting?
It's because i want to give a child an opportunity...an opportunity that they may not get...we may be wrong, or we may be right...but only time will tell. But as of now, I already know, that this child has already helped me grow in way that I could not have foreseen...even though I still do not know who he/she is...and for that I am grateful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)