Gradually graduating...

The other day I sat down for one last time to schedule college classes, for my last quarter at OSU.

I was pretty excited about graduating, until upon scheduling everything, the reality of everything set in... it's like now that I know that I'll have more free time and won't have to be in school no more, I feel like I don't want to leave.

It's really a strange feeling and I have been struggling with the decision of whether I should go to grad school or not.

It's just all very confusing to me... so here, as I wait to take a midterm for the last psych class that I'll ever be taking (I am well over the credit requirements for my major in psych, so I won't be taking another next quarter), I'm blogging like I don't have a worry in the world.

I know I want to be a stay-at-home mom when I have kids, which could be soon if Allah blesses us insha'Allah, because both my husband and I love kids... but then at other times I feel like shouldn't I do more with my life? This, in turn, brings me to the other difficult question... should I wait to have kids? (Till now I've been telling 'A' that I want one like crazy and don't want to wait too much, but I guess a few months/one year shouldn't be too bad? ugh... someone please give me the answers!)

I really wanted to go into Speech Therapy and a Masters would allow me to work in that field and help countless people. Don't get me wrong, I still only wanna work after my (future) kids were in school and that, too, part time. I have no intentions of being some overworked mom who does not have time for the house or kids... I truly believe that is my primary goal.

Maybe my thoughts are based on some of form of insecurity I have for the future... but at the same time, I feel like I want to live a little... in the sense that I wanna try my hand at different things... Where all of this will take me, I'm not really sure...

For one, I'm married... so I have a definite place that I need to be at... at home, caring for my husband. Secondly, I really don't even know where to turn to if I wanted to do anything anyways...

I just hope I don't take the easy way out and do nothing with my life...

Oops! Gotta go and take that exam now.

Peace :)