I'm so confused about my future that whenever I think of it I start hyperventilating... wow! don't tell me I'm gonna get my very first batch of panic attacks over this!!!
Anyhow, so I turn to my younger sister for advice when I know I'm thinking (the verb) myself crazy... and she gave me another insight into things... well I guess it wasn't really 'another' idea... maybe just something that I was forgetting to remind myself of, due to my constant panicking! So anyways, she told me to relax and take a deep breath and that getting married/graduating doesn't mean that I still don't have time to do anything with my life.
Sigh... I never thought I'd feel like this when the time came. I don't think I was this nervous when I got married! yikes... somethings gotta give.
Well, so I guess overall I'm feeling a little better although I'm still pretty emotional :(
Partly, I think I'm using my insecurity over graduating to cover up all of the other billions of things that I'm feeling a roller-coaster of emotions about...
I'm once again leaving my family, this time somewhat permanently... I'm just so close to them, and thankfully now that hubby and I are moving to NC we'll be much closer to OH than we previously were... meaning more visits home.
But I can't help but feel sad... the last time I was there (this summer) was really hard without my family... because even though I've found my soul mate and feel complete, it feels like this other part of my life is missing.
Gosh, now i'm tearing up :( I'm really gonna miss my time in OH and OSU.
Jeez, I think this post is turning into something else.
(to be continued, in another post).
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